What: 4300w; PG
Summary: for echomoon: could you do something with zelo and maybe himchan crossdressing? idk what genre it would be... something fluffy i guess? maybe with the whole group involved or just them two and yongguk? sorry if this is a weird request~
Wow this has been a long time coming. :0 It was actually the second request I got and I started typing right away because crossdressing is... um. dear to my heart, haha. But there was a lot more I wanted to put in that just didn't fit. I hope it's fluffy enough? *___* /fingers crossed you like it.
There's not a lot of alone time between crazy schedules and six people crammed into a tiny dorm flat, but Junhong takes what he can. He journals daily, or tries if he's not passed out on his face; he practices the embarrassing song lines Yongguk assigns him (—why?!) in the dark, door closed and lights off when the hyungs are watching TV or squabbling in the kitchen.
Sometimes, he practices putting on makeup.
This is a little riskier than the other things since it's not as if rouge disappears from one's lips as quickly as sounds do if someone walks in, and the mirror isn't anywhere near the door so a physical baulk is hard to find. It doesn't stop him though. Junhong does what he wants so long as it doesn't hurt anyone, and if what he wants (sometimes) is something darker than tint on his lips, and a dusting of pink high on his cheekbones instead of the usual shadow contouring beneath them, then so be it.
He practices things he enjoys and wants to be better at. Rap. Dance. Skateboarding. Makeup too, but there's nobody he can really ask and it's hard to watch tutorials with other people around. Junhong uses private browsing as a rule of thumb, but even when he's on his own computer everyone's tall enough to see over the sides of the top bunks and nosy hyungs are nosy.
It's not that their promotional makeup isn't cool and all, but it's just so incredibly boy with the strong brow shapes and shaded noses even when they get heaps of eyeshadow. Junhong's pretty sure he could be a lot more cute if only—
The door slams open and Himchan storms in, slapping the ceiling light on. Junhong holds very still and resists the urge to hide. Sometimes Himchan gets so self-absorbed that he doesn't notice things around him, so if Junhong's lucky—
"…the hell?" Himchan turns and squints, taking a few curious steps closer to where Junhong sits in the corner beside the mirror. There's a telltale scatter of tiny bottles and pencils and brushes around him; and actually now that the ceiling light's on instead of just the small lamp by the dresser, Junhong can see pretty clearly that he hasn't done a very good job of himself. A better job than last time, but still not great. He frowns a little. Himchan also frowns. "Junhong-ah?"
Junhong looks up and meets Himchan's eyes—about two feet from him now and no longer squinting. Even if Himchan's grandma-level short-sighted, there's no way he can't see exactly what's going on at this distance. Junhong decides to play it cool. The first one to feel the awkward is the one who owns it, so he shrugs nonchalantly. "Just trying something new?"
It's probably not still 'new' if he's been doing it on and off for a few months now, but maybe it counts if nobody's caught him at it before.
Not that Himchan seems to care about the thing that Junhong thinks he should care about. Nope, not Kim Himchan: "That is not how to apply lip-liner," he says derisively, folding up the black jacket he'd come in to collect. And Junhong's pretty used to this by now, this… Himchan's criticism and blunt manner, really, but Himchan still manages to surprise him on occasion. Like: "Less is more if you want to look like an actual girl instead of some wannabe drag queen."
Like he's an authority on the matter.
That's a new thought.
After a moment of consideration, he supposes Himchan could be an authority on the matter. Himchan is pretty, in fine-boned ways that make Daehyun sigh with envy (though not as much as he sighs over Jongup, but Daehyun doesn't sigh over anyone as much as he sighs over Jongup)—and Junhong is a country kid so he only learned this lately but ulzzangs and stuff do really bizarre things sometimes, or are asked to do them, for little apparent reason. Like crossdressing. Maybe that was Himchan once.
Junhong tilts his head. "Yeah?" he says, letting his curiosity show. It could pay off.
"Yeah," Himchan says flatly and pulls some makeup wipes from a pocket of the jacket he's holding, tossing the pack into Junhong's lap. "Wipe it off, you're an embarrassment."
Junhong can't help feeling kind of hurt, a reflex even if he is used to Himchan's everything by now. But then Himchan continues again, and again Junhong is surprised: "Wipe it off and put on some moisturiser and don't go anywhere. I'll be back."
Junhong remembers a famous Hollywood robot who said pretty much those words exactly and thinks Himchan could easily look like the stripped down Terminator if he wanted to, all angled planes and possessed eyes and hollow sockets thanks to his crazy diet recently. But that's none of Junhong's business so he looks into the mirror and shrugs, pulling a makeup wipe out of Himchan's pack.
Now this he's done a million times before, even if the rouge is a little harder to remove completely than the stuff their makeup noona uses.
By the time Himchan comes back, Junhong's rubbing the last of the moisturiser into his cheeks with small circle motions. "Right," Himchan says briskly, and Junhong looks up. Himchan's brought things with him—among them his sizeable personal makeup bag, which he puts on the floor beside Junhong's crossed legs, and—
Junhong's eyes widen.
"Hold this," Himchan says. "Actually, don't hold it. Stand up and get out of your dumb hoodie and put it on. If you're going to do something, you might as well do it properly."
Obedient when he wants to be, Junhong supposes now would be a good time to listen to the pro, so he does as told. He shrugs out of his hoodie, pulling his t-shirt up over his head, and accepts when Himchan dumps the dress into his arms.
"…are you sure?" he asks, softly not because he's embarrassed by this point, or worried any of the others might hear them (there are explosions from the movie playing in the living room: nobody is going to hear them) but it's… a really nice, formal dress. It looks expensive.
The fabric is weighty but not super thick; navy at the top, running down into a shimmery mix of dark pink-purples and blue that has Junhong kind of transfixed. Admittedly it's not the first time he's seen the dress—they all share wardrobe space and everything without asking so there are really no secrets when it comes to clothes—but it's definitely the first time he's been able to look at it. Under lights. Taking his time.
"Go ahead," Himchan says with a tilt of his chin.
Junhong nods, carefully pulling the zip down the back of the dress. He steps through it just as carefully and slides the fabric up over his shoulders. It's sleeveless and really is as nice as it looks, the lining smooth and silky against his skin. The weight of the fabric falls well even though he doesn't have the right natural curves. It feels nice.
"Actually… Daehyun-hyung pointed this out to me last time," Junhong tells Himchan because he feels like he should. He turns sideways in the mirror. "When we were looking through the suit bags. He thought it was really funny blackmail."
Himchan snorts softly, amused, and reaches out to do the back zip up. He secures the tiny fiddly clasp at the top of it and Junhong is really pleased with the way dress' plain, v-neck top part doesn't make his shoulders look any broader than they are. Just a chiffon scarf or something to hide his Adam's apple and maybe—"What did you think?" Himchan asks.
Junhong twists his hips a little in front of the mirror, enjoying the swish of the cool fabric against his skin even if his waist isn't at all small enough without a corset. The ankle length skirt hides his dancer's calves but there's enough space in it that moving isn't hard. After a moment, he hikes the dress up and undoes his jeans and shucks them off, kicking them aside, and smiles when Himchan laughs.
"What do you think?" Himchan changes the question a little.
Junhong's reply is still a smile. "I thought the fact you kept it around was kinda cool…" His gaze on Himchan's in the mirror is unashamed, and both their eyes trace down Junhong's slim silhouette. "I think… I really like it."
"Then you can have it," Himchan tells him. "It's not like I wear it ever. We can just leave it in the back of the wardrobe and nobody will know."
"Hyung, really?" Junhong asks, eyes wide.
Himchan grins wryly. "Yeah. It suits you far better than me anyway. It's not really fair."
"I'm kinda surprised it fits though?" Junhong says, turning side-on and looking over his shoulder at the hug of the dress down his back. He's bigger than his bandmates—all of them, by kind of a lot these days—and the size difference sometimes feels painfully awkward.
Himchan just makes a soft tsk sound. "Junhong-ah, you're forgetting which one of us used to check in at over a hundred kilos."
"That was a long time ago for you though, hyung," Junhong says, pursing his lips because it's true. Even if Himchan's weight does still go up and down more than the rest of them, he's been nothing but slim and gorgeous since Junhong's known him—two, nearly three years by this point. "You're just really pretty now."
Himchan clears his throat. "My sister…" he says offhand, and Junhong smiles a little at the transparent change of subject. (No matter how much Himchan preens and poses in front of the cameras and other people, Junhong thinks, one-on-one he's kind of… sometimes he's quieter. A little gentler.) "My sister got the dress custom tailored when I told her we were doing Mr. Idol. Shipped it express right to our front door because she's a bitch. She thought she was sooo funny…"
"Your sister loves you," Junhong says firmly because the thought of what his parents—or worse, his brother—would say if they saw him now is a little daunting. They've supported every crazy thing he's wanted to do so far, but something like this… he's pretty sure it'd be asking one thing too much. "She loves you, and also you're infinitely more of a bitch to her in the first place," he feels the need to add.
"Yeah, yeah, I know," Himchan laughs and seats himself cross-legged on the floor, opening his makeup bag. "Now come down here so we can finish what you started."
Junhong smiles eagerly in anticipation, folding his legs under him. Finally a real chance to learn...
But then Himchan just tells him to close his eyes and mm his mouth and Junhong finds himself left in the dark.
Which is a little weird, if not really unfair because Himchan usually never ever shuts up. Even when Yongguk's got a headache, so long as there's someone else in the room to listen, Himchan will talk. (Sometimes he'll even talk when he thinks no one's around.) But he's quiet when he's focused on something—and he's quiet now, which tells Junhong he's probably concentrating and shouldn't be disturbed even if Junhong's kind of dying for a running commentary.
He tries to follow which bottles of things Himchan uses when, but it's hard to track when Himchan's constantly telling him, "Close your eyes. Open. Close. Turn this way. Now this way. Close your mouth." and "Stop fidgeting!"
When Himchan pulls his hands away for a little bit, Junhong immediately leans over to peer into the mirror beside them. The BB cream is familiar, as well as the concealer and stuff with pressed powder on top. The blush is nothing new either, though it's a less obvious colour than the one Junhong smuggled home.
"You're lucky I'm not Daehyun," Himchan comments, working with a pair of scissors (—what?). "Your skintone is still a shade lighter than mine but we're close enough my stuff still works."
"I really think that's one of the lesser reasons I'm lucky you're not Daehyun-hyung right now," Junhong says absently. He pokes at his chin, trying to figure out where Himchan put the highlights. There are highlights—the brush and light powder is right there—but Himchan's work is subtle and all Junhong can get is an overall appearance of rounder and softer. His jaw no longer looks quite so post-pubescently strong. It's bizarre, but pretty cool.
Himchan watches in amusement before telling him to turn back around.
Junhong's eyes widen. "Fake lashes?"
"Fake lashes," Himchan says. "Cut to the length of your eye so they won't stab you, don't worry."
"Why do you even have those on you though, hyung," Junhong says with a little amazement. Because knowing how to use makeup and having a dress given to him is one thing, but everything else…? Junhong doesn't know if that's thought territory he's allowed to pursue.
"Because I have tiny eyes, obviously," Himchan snorts. "I need them to look more convincing. You don't because you're already cute, but we might as well use what we have."
"Riiight," Junhong says, wondering when Himchan ever crossdressed in his free time lately. He wonders suddenly if Yongguk knows about it, or maybe if Yongguk likes that sort of thing because half of what Himchan ever does is for an audience... "Oh god," Junhong says faintly, pulse racing, and wonders why he's actually even thinking of Yongguk but can't seem to help himself.
"Don't worry," Himchan says again, mistaking Junhong's thoughts. "Close."
And Junhong obediently closes his eyes again and is left alone with the thoughts in his head. But they don't last long rattling around by themselves. "…hyung," Junhong says after only a short silence, before he's even sure the eyelash glue has dried against his lids.
"Don't open your eyes," Himchan orders.
"…wasn't gonna," Junhong mutters. But then, since keeping his eyes closed makes the question easier anyway: "…why do you do it?"
Himchan actually laughs, amused, and there isn't the slightest hint of a pause before he says, "I like to feel sexy."
"Oh," Junhong says, and supposes he can understand that. Himchan-as-a-guy is only sexy sometimes, like on stage (…sometimes). Himchan-as-a-guy in the dorms doing sexy-like-a-guy things kind of just makes everyone want to hurl because there's Jongup, and there's Himchan, and really only one of them looks good without a shirt on. But Junhong's pretty willing to bet that Himchan would pull off sexy always in smoky makeup the way 2NE1 does it, with his black-as-night eyes and kind of self-possessed I Am the Best smirk going…
"Stockings are good," Himchan says lightly, surprising Junhong again, and Himchan tsk's when it nearly ruins the liquid liner. "My last pair got ripped up so I don't have any on hand right now, but maybe next time. It's a shame your shoe size grew one too, or I could have loaned you the heels—which are hidden by the way, nowhere Daehyun'll find—not that you need the extra height, but it helps give your ass more curve, you know?"
"Oh…" Junhong says again, and wonders if the heels would match the dress, and if Yongguk was the one who ripped up Himchan's stockings, and really how much better Himchan's ass could look if he wore heels since his thighs and butt are already pretty curvy for a guy—
"Why do you do it?" Himchan asks back, teasing by his tone, and Junhong fidgets though it doesn't really sound like Himchan's expecting a proper answer. Which is good because Junhong's not really sure he can give one at this point.
"…because I want to," he settles on saying, which is a pretty Jonguppie-type reply for questions like this, but also probably the most honest one Junhong can think up at the moment. There isn't any hidden meaning to it, no childhood trauma; he doesn't want to be a girl, he just… wants to dress like one sometimes. It's pretty. And when girls colour-match their clothes, nobody instantly accuses them of being gay. They have a lot more colours and patterns and options and—
"Alright, open," Himchan says, finally done with Junhong's eyes. Junhong blinks and Himchan ends up positively beaming. "Fuck, I am good."
Junhong turns to the mirror and stops short staring at his reflection because, okay, yeah, he's kind of got to agree that Himchan has this makeup thing down to an art.
He almost looks like a doll, with rosy cheeks and round everything. His eyes are giant and really nicely lined but not overdone. There's mascara and long, curled lashes, and his eyebrows are these thin, gently curved lines that make him look super innocent—almost surprised. He is surprised. "I look… pretty—" Like an actual sweet sixteen—Junhong feels his cheeks flush a little and he turns to Himchan with wide eyes, blinking some more. "Hyung, you gotta teach me this. Please, hyung!"
Himchan doesn't answer for a moment, pursing his lips and reaching over to brush Junhong's bangs sideways. He shoves a bobby-pin in, only seeming satisfied when the line of the cut is no longer so blunt. "I'll teach you this style," he promises at last, and Junhong feels his eyes light right up but Himchan continues before Junhong can express his thanks: "You'd pull off a sexy look too, I think, but I'm not going to teach you that. Not when Guk's around to see you. Gotta protect my station, you know?"
Junhong rolls his eyes, because whatever—but then the middle phrase clicks and he blurts, "Wait, who said anything about Yongguk-hyung seeing me?"
Himchan's grin takes on an evil edge. "But of course we're going to show you off, Junhong-ah, I have done exemplary work on you today. In fact, I'm going to go get Gukkie right now. You don’t go anywhere, you hear me?"
Like where am I gonna go? Junhong thinks, staring at his own wide-eyed reflection in the mirror as Himchan disappears. He sure as hell doesn't want to risk running into any of the other members without warning them first or knowing how they'll react. Even if everything could just be blamed on Himchan, or a dare or a bet, Junhong doesn't really want to do that. He toys with the thought that Yongguk won't judge him. If Yongguk won't then the rest of the members probably won't either, in the long run, but they have enough stress to deal with day-to-day already and sometimes Daehyun's mouth really just can't be closed—
The doorhandle turns almost violently and Yongguk stumbles in, clearly having been shoved. "The hell is wrong with you, Himchan?" Yongguk demands, straightening up.
Junhong smiles softly. "Hi, hyung."
Yongguk stares and Junhong wonders if maybe he should've said 'oppa' after all (but the idea of Himchan doing it just for kicks made the thought a bit too greasy to bear).
"Holy…" Yongguk clears his throat and tries again. He looks like he's been hit with a baseball bat. "Way too tall—"
"Oh," Junhong says, deflating because that's not really the reaction he wanted even if it was the obvious one. "Sorry…"
Himchan slaps Yongguk upside the head and Yongguk coughs, embarrassed: "No, you look really good, I just—"
"Stand up straight, Junhong-ah," Himchan frowns. "We'd have to amputate your legs to get you to a height this moron thinks is cute. Don't listen to him."
"No, you listen to me, Channie," Yongguk says suddenly, turning to Himchan and ignoring Junhong completely. "Promise if they make one of us crossdress on camera, you or Daehyun or Youngjae will volunteer. Promise me." He seems very serious about his demands and Junhong would be intrigued if he weren't equal parts offended.
"Daehyun can," Himchan says dismissively. "He can do a Madam Jung and it'll be hilarious, end of story."
"Alright," Yongguk agrees, shoulders relaxing. "Okay, yeah. That's fine."
"Hey," Junhong puts in, a little put out. "Why can't I though?" Because if Baro from B1A4 can pull off dashing through the snow in a wedding dress and heels despite being tank as hell, Junhong's pretty damn sure he could give that a run for its money.
"No," Yongguk says firmly, tone brooking no argument.
"Listen to your over-protective father," Himchan teases.
"Channie…" Yongguk warns, before turning back to Junhong and attempting to explain himself. Apparently this is hard because he sighs, vexed, and runs a hand through his hair. "You can't, Junhong… because it's not funny. Not if you want to do this for real. You look good and I- ...I won't let them make a joke out of it. Not out of you like this. Understood?" His face is a frown pretty much daring Junhong to contest the point.
Junhong won't though. He just chews on his lip and processes the logic. Yongguk isn't always good at talking, but as leader he's never said 'just because' or 'I say so' and all else aside Junhong respects that. "...okay, hyung," he says at last, and Yongguk's frame loses the rest of its tension as he smiles a little.
"Aww~" Himchan coos, resting his head on Yongguk's shoulder. He slides his arms around Yongguk's waist and Junhong thinks if he didn't know better, he'd guess Himchan was trying to be possessive—but he does know better and Himchan's face is an open book like always. His eyes look exactly like a proud mother's. "Hey, Bbang-papa, doesn't our baby make a beautiful debutante?"
Junhong can't help grinning a little.
"Don't be gross, Channie," Yongguk intones, a reflex response as he shakes Himchan off of his shoulder.
Himchan's pout is automatic and Junhong reaches out to him, smiling more when Himchan attaches himself to Junhong's side instead. "At least baby loves me," Himchan says petulantly.
Yongguk snorts and untucks his iPad from the waistband of his pants (though really, Junhong doesn't know how many times all of them have told him not to keep doing that, it's stupid). "Stop with the aegyo and smile nicely for once," Yongguk says, summoning the camera.
Junhong frowns. "Hyung, I'm pretty sure even you know that thing has a front camera too."
"But my hair looks bad right now," Yongguk mutters, raising the iPad and hiding his face.
"Daaaaadd…" Junhong rolls his eyes. He grabs Yongguk's wrist and pulls him over so he has Himchan on his left and Yongguk on his right. Junhong puts an arm around each of them, smiling insolently. "I want you in the photo."
Yongguk grumbles something along the lines of 'and once upon a time you were scared of me' but obliges anyway like Junhong knew he would. "Himchan, no aegyo," Yongguk orders as he switches the camera and holds up the iPad again. "Junhong's the cute one here."
Himchan huffs but deflates his puffy cheeks and Junhong somehow also avoids making a dumb face when the shutter clicks. The photo turns out surprisingly normal and even somehow… good, first try. Even Yongguk has no complaints about his hair.
"Another one!" Himchan demands anyway and blows a raspberry into Junhong's cheek as the shutter clicks again. Junhong's laughing, one eye scrunched shut, Yongguk watching them both with a fond smile.
Junhong flicks between the two photos and can't decide which one he likes more.
"Can I… keep this for a bit, hyung? I'll give it back to you after," Junhong says, indicating the iPad just as Himchan's squint focuses on the clock along the top of it and his eyes go wide at the time—"Oh, shit! The next episode of—oi! Jung Daehyun! If you're not actually watching that movie, you better get off the TV—!"
Himchan thunders out of the room and Yongguk stares after him with a look of disbelief. "…your mother's an idiot," he says to Junhong before quirking a brow. "What, the iPad?"
Yongguk smiles softly. "If you want. I'll be in the studio when you're done."
"I won't be long," Junhong promises because he knows Yongguk's probably got lyrics notes on this iPad since it's the one with the scrawly cover. He tucks his hair behind his ear and hitches up the long blue dress to plop down cross-legged on the floor. "I just gotta do something first."
Something about this makes Yongguk laugh and he leans over to press a kiss to the top of Junhong's head. "Take your time, baby," he says. He pauses at the door on his way out, looking like he wants to say something else, and Junhong watches him curiously for a moment but in the end Yongguk just shakes his head with that soft smile again and leaves Junhong back alone with his thoughts.
Junhong looks at the two pictures on the iPad a moment longer before opening them both in LINE Camera. He plays with the filters and stamps for a while, settling on a simple contrast adjustment and a cute pink ribbon in Himchan's hair. He sticks a blue one in his own, and Yongguk gets a gold star.
Satisfied, Junhong sends the pictures to Himchan and Yongguk in a chat and, chewing on his lip, briefly wonders what to type.
There's a lot he thinks he could say to his hyungs, but he's never been as good at writing as either of them... and anyway he kind of gets the feeling they already know all his thoughts.
He decides to keep it simple.
To my parents who continue to take care of me so well, I love you so much.
...thank you. ♥
He's pretty sure they'll understand.